"A Passionate Love Affair with a Major Appliance"

10:34 AM Posted In Edit This 1 Comment »
I love the commercial on CMT where Naomi Judd is walking 'Country Cribs' people through her house. Not only is she impeccably dressed (as always!) but she walks over to her washer and dryer, throws her arms around them and gushes "It is possible to have a passionate love affair with a major appliance!"

Gets me giggling every time!

I have a serious affair going on with several of my own major appliances, but they aren't always passionate and they aren't always loving! I love my stove... I baby it, cleaning it several times a day and making sure that it is always in pristine condition. My refridgerator is like my best friend, I always keep it clean and full and smelling good... I even have a little thing going with the dryer!

My washer is a completely different story... My washer in particular is giving me serious problems here lately.

See, my washer is about 6 years old. Up until about a year ago, it lived in a nice comfy house with four people. It was always clean and sparkly and didn't have to work very much at all. Since then, however, it's been moved to my messy laundry room and put into what must seem like a forced labor camp... running four loads on a slow day, and upwards of ten to twelve on a busy one.

But I am sweet to it! I make sure and wash the cat prints off the top and sides, I use good detergent and softener, and I make sure that the pockets are
usually cleaned out so it doesn't have a bunch of stuff banging around in there.

It just doesn't like me very much.

That's ok.
I don't like it very much either. So there. :P

It's very hard to love something that looks for opportunities to break down. First it was a belt. Then it was a hose attachment. Then it was the plug. Then the silly thing wouldn't hold water. Then it wouldn't drain the water.

See what I mean? It hates me! Usually though, we are able to catch whatever problem long before it does any actual damage or makes a huge mess...

On Thursday however, it was a different story.

I was in the kitchen making grilled-cheese sandwiches on my
lovely stove when I asked Harmony to take a basket of laundry she and Regan had finished folding in the kitchen floor to my bedroom.

There I am, cooking away, singing "
Just a spoonful of suugggarrr makes the medicine go down, medicine go doooowwwwwwnnn, medicine go down!" at the top of my lungs when I am suddenly interrupted by a shriek! I calmly looked around, counting kids (shrieks are not uncommon in this house!) and realized everyone was playing contentedly except Harmony.

Harmony? She's not a shrieker! What on earth?! I chunk my spatula on the cabinet and gasp to the other five "Stay here! I'll be right back!"

I dash off towards my bedroom and collide with Harmony bolting towards the kitchen.


We both stagger for just a moment... it was a hard smack!!

There's my poor six year old, hair put up and curled in pretty bows, wearing her pretty new birthday clothes and bouncing in drenched socks -screaming bloody murder because "THERE'S ICE COLD WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!"

Wait. What?!?

I twist her and turn her around a few revolutions to make sure there's nothing actually wrong with her.

There wasn't.

No wayward spider (Harmony would just stomp on it anyway), no bumps or bruises (Harmony wouldn't have been screaming about that- she once got a splinter under her big toe nail and didn't even see the need to tell me about it!).
No big scary anything.


I wasn't hallucinating.

The washer was leaking. Again.

Dang it.

The drain magically popped itself loose and then the washer obliged itself by spraying dirty, soapy water all over the laundry area... and the hall way... and the bathroom... and the girls' bedroom carpet... and my office carpet.

Not only was a good part of my house under water, it was under almost 2 inches of water! How does that even happen?!? The clothes were washed in the washer! I checked! The soap was gone and the clothes were all soaked.


I called Josh at work and, as usual, interrupted him up on a ladder (You know he just
loved that!) just because I was having a minor freaking out session about living in a swimming pool. I could almost hear him rolling his eyes at me! I mean, come on! Anyone would be upset about that, right? (lol)

"Desi," he says with a sigh, "turn off the water valve to the washer in the bathroom. Get out the Green Machine and suck up the water. Quit washing clothes."

Oh I HATE it when he's that calm when I am gone somewhere outside my mind!


With not even a second thought he answers me, "Well, then get out y'all's bathing suits and put on your jackets." and gets off the phone.


I toss the phone down and wander around feeling completely helpless for a few minutes while the big kids dare each other to touch the icy water and the little kids are delighting themselves by throwing blocks into it to see how big a splash they can make...

Oh, and THEN I finally remembered that I had been enjoying myself thoroughly cooking grilled cheese sandwiches. Which were now black as soot and tasted just about the same. So now, my stove is mad at me too. And I left the cheese out by the stove and it's all smushed together.... the fridge is not happy with me either. *

Stupid washer.

I did eventually (after several hours freezing work) get all the water sopped up and the other appliances contented but I've not forgiven my washer. The stupid thing. I am not speaking to it right now... but it's not speaking to me either. :(

Josh hasn't fixed whatever the problem is yet, and so, for now... the washer has won. I have dirty clothes and blankets just piling up all over the house and I am not happy about it at all.

I have resigned myself, however, to scheming against Washer for the day (hopefully not that far off!) that I will buy a BRAND NEW washer and send this old cranky one for recycling.

Then it can go be grumpy with someone else as parts and pieces and leave me to sing to the stove when I want!


Unknown said...

Oh wow! I hope it all gets fixed soon!

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