The Crunchy Mommy

I wish I had something interesting to blog about, but alas... it's just me. :)

We didn't do anything spectacularly interesting yesterday. About the time I got started with school, my DH called to ask me to do some work on his website, so that consumed most of my day yesterday.

I'm going to have the baby (my niece) tomorrow, and probably most of next week, so that's interesting :)

However, this morning, i was getting out of the shower and was ATTACKED by a HUGE spider. I don't know what kind it was... it was just humongous!! The tiles on my bathroom floor are 12"x12" and it took up 1/4 of a tile! I very quietly shrieked (the kids were still asleep after all!) and ran out of the room!

I dashed to the kitchen looking for some type of poison... anything so I wouldn't have to risk getting touched by that spider and found the rabbits' flea spray. I must have used half of the bottle, and watching the spider convulse and cling to my dirty shirt laying in the floor was terrifying! My poor heart was racing and my hands shaking!

Once the smell of flea spray became too overwhelming, I left the room to work up my nerve to dispose of it. It took me and entire load of clothes drying to be able to go in and dump it in the toilet!!

I have no idea why the size of the spider directly correlates to the fear level involved... that one's a mystery to me!

So that's pretty much as interesting as I'm getting today! I hope you enjoyed my little tid-bit!

I know that I have a million and five things to get accomplished today but I am having a hard time believing that it is almost 7am and my children are still asleep, my coffee is still hot, and I am dressed in my favorite snuggly sweater and khaki skirt... and they are CLEAN and it all smells so good!

My bathroom is scrubbed and sparkly, my sink is shiny, and the sun is barely peaking out from behind the clouds.

My cardinals are chirping, the cats are all purring, and the first of the more hardy spring vines are throwing splashes of green into the dreary woods outside my windows.







It's mornings like this that make me happiest. Despite the overcast skies and nippy temperatures, I can feel and see the promise of warmth, sunshine, green grass, and many happy days of summer. I can almost feel the praises of God being sung from under my very feet and being lifted up with the mist all around me; the land thanking Him for His mercy throughout another harsh winter.

And so, although I know that eventually the day to day rush will catch up with me, I wanted to spend a few moments and join in the worship. I wanted to share with you this perfect moment of peace that's filling me up, and recharging me for the day at hand.

I've always envied my dad and brother... they are up every morning by 4:30, dressed, showered, and wide awake- ready for the day.


Let me clarify that-

They. Are. Up -Showered-Dressed-Wide-Awake- Bright-Eyed-and- Bushy-Tailed BY 4:30 in the morning! The alarm doesn't go off AT 4:30, they LEAVE the house BY 4:30. Every day. Rain or shine.

*sigh*

I never inherited that particular trait, but it's one that I dearly wish to cultivate.

Think of the benefits! You do your most private chores in the morning, before anyone else is awake to walk in the bathroom. You can watch whatever you want on tv or spend an hour catching up on emails (which are NEVER behind because you always have time to send them!) You sit and drink your coffee while it's still hot (oh luxury of luxuries!). You could spend hours communing with God without being interrupted by earthly pursuits. You could sit on the front porch and watch the sun come up and the listen to the bird's salute to the day. (Did I mention HOT coffee?!?)

I am, unfortunately, NOT a morning person by nature. The lure of soft sheets, fluffy pillows, and toasty blankets is one I battle daily, regardless of the hour. They're just so inviting and cozy I just want to cuddle up under them! Except for 15 minutes here and there to guide Harmony through her school-work, I don't sit down during the day, I am rarely in one room more than 20 minutes at a time! Then it's rushrushrush off to the next chore, chasing the next child, cleaning the next spill, or working on the next project. My life is rushing by so fast, and I don't claim any quiet time for me to slow it down some.

Another thing I've always envied is the amount of stuff my dad can get accomplished everyday. You would NOT believe his to-do list! I write phenomenal to-do lists, and his still leave me staggered under the amount of work he expects himself to accomplish each day.

But, at any time, day or night, he can and will stop what he's doing for a phone call with a friend, or to teach a grandchild, or to sneak in some kind of loving act whenever he sees the opportunity. He always welcomes unexpected guests, happily, and entertains them as long as they have the need for entertainment, then sends them off and gets right back to work. He's very rarely overwhelmed by his heavy workload (he builds custom cabinets all around the South) although he sometimes has to work late into the night to complete all his other chores.

I don't know how he does it!

I never seem to get ALL my to-do list completed. I have an afghan 1/3 of the way finished that I haven't worked on in over a month! I have a partial lesson plan worked up for the next month, but it doesn't include anything besides the Three R's! My sister called me yesterday to fuss at me because I promised her 6 months ago I would finish clearing out the storage room to make it into a playroom for the kids so I wouldn't call her complaining about spraining my toes or ankles tripping over toys scattered all over the house. (Sad to admit, this, but) I have had our old living room suit sitting beside my house for two months because I haven't loaded it up and carried it to Goodwill yet! I've been to Goodwill several times, but I never seem to have the time to carry itI've got an outline for a 14 blog-post series on organizing a small house to fit a large family, and it's been sitting in my house journal for three months! I mean, come on! I can't even drink a cup of coffee while it's hot- how do I expect to accomplish anything else?!?

AND if I am being truly honest with myself and you, there are many times during the day that I dread hearing the knock on the door because I was raised to put your guests above your chore list, or can't contain a sigh when a friend calls me just to chat, or give them some encouragement or advice.

I feel so rushed, I get frustrated. I make my children and husband frustrated, then I get angry. Then I make my children sad and my husband angry, and then I get sad. Then I make my children feel guilty and my husband frustrated. Then I get contrite. Then I coddle my children, and am afraid to face my husband because of the stress I've caused him. Then I face him, and I promise to try and slow down. Then I slow down and I don't get anything accomplished! Then I rush around, trying to catch up and the entire cycle starts all over again and leaves us all miserable and caught in a cycle that revolves around ME... my ability to control myself... and I am ashamed.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (Prov 12:4)

ouch. double ouch.

I don't want to be a rot in my husband's bones! I LOVE him. I want to be a crown, a jewel for him. I don't want to hurt him. But he that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls... vulnerable, a prime target for attack from enemies, anyone could sneak right in and chop off the king (or queen's) head and no one would be any wiser. That's not the way to live. I wonder whether something so simple as controlling my body, bringing it under submission, to such a simple act as getting out of bed could really help me.

Every where I turn in my bible, I find that the simplest answer is always the one given. Your hand sins, cut it off. You have a sharp tongue, control it. You have a lazy body, bring it under submission.

Is it ever really that simple?!?

I do good by getting up by 6:30 when my husband drags me, sometimes literally!, out of bed before he leaves for work. I start my day (usually) cranky, tired, nursing the beginnings of a migraine, and almost 'looking for a fight'. I spend the next several hours 'hoping' to get into a better mood, and sometimes I even succeed! Most days, though, I find myself faking it until about 30 minutes before my husband gets home, when the kids are in bed for their afternoon naps, and the house is finally looking like a grown-up lives here and I can drink my cold coffee in peace, until the cat knocks over the trash can or Gabe kicks Forrest out of bed, anyway.

I don't want to be one of those people who wake up one day, old and decrepit, their children grown and gone, and nothing but a clean house to show for years and years of life that should have been spent in the service of love and devotion, full of happy memories and loving relationships.

Maybe today will be the day that I start to slow down. That I leave the to-do lists on the counter and play instead of worrying. Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I wake up early enough to spend some quiet time with my husband in the morning, to get all my on-line work, and daily housecleaning chores finished before my children get up so I can really mother them, so I can really be present.

Maybe I will go make a fresh, hot pot of coffee and sit on the front porch with the kids and watch my cardinals begin their day for once, and not worry about what I think I have to do and get on with the business of doing what I need to!